Howard County Christians

The 21st Century Jesus

Speaking for Jesus politically is difficult because it is darn near impossible to get an interview with the Savior to get His opinion on the hot topics of the day... though certain tele-evangelists claim to have personally bridged that little divide... and other common folk, by the humble and sacrificial lives they lead, seem like they just might be privy to a sacred one-on-one. I fall into neither of these categories, but since I have an opinion about most everything... I will foolishly speak for the Almighty, and suggest how He might live as a Jewish American... if he came back as a man to dwell among us for a while.

Jesus knows that the physical universe (as opposed to what we'll call the real world) has a life span, and he knows exactly when this temporary world will die. He knows the Earth was created perfectly adequate to it's purpose. So I can't see him as an environmentalist, although since He welcomes praise for the beauty and magnificence of the Earth, He would never litter or erect a billboard.

Jesus wouldn't be in favor of hiring a homosexual as a teacher or a scoutmaster because He would want to protect His little ones from the influence of evil... and, he would want to protect the homosexual, that He loves, from the damning effects of that influence. And he wouldn't hire a promiscuous heterosexual for the exact same reason.

He would take a weekend and drive to Virginia and have a long talk with Pat Robertson, and then give him a big hug.

He would favor lower taxes because it would mean He would have more money to do good things and help the poor. He would pray for, and witness to... the lazy, as He allowed them to flounder and fail. But there would be no poor widow or disabled person in His neighborhood that would go without His help.

Jesus wouldn't talk on a cell phone while driving.

He would see the open border with Mexico as an invitation for law-breaking and so He would support the building of a fence. When an illegal crossed His path He would help him in any legal way that He could, and terms like wet-back and towel-head would not lounge in His vocabulary.

Based on what I have read in the Old and New Testaments, Jesus would hate war but support the use of power to accomplish good. He would pray for the soldiers, for a righteous outcome, and for peace.

He would spend an entire morning talking with Joni Eareckson-Tada, and then they would spend the afternoon together playing tennis.

He would be color-blind. When He filled out a form that asked for His race, He would leave that part blank... because it would annoy Him.

Jesus would hate abortion and put His money where His mouth was, supporting un-wed mothers and facilitating adoption.

He would support the death penalty, but aggressively work to save the souls of those on death row through prison ministry.

Jesus would of course support Israel and daily pray for her... and for a change in her neighbors' hearts.

Jesus would have one TV, but it would almost never be on, except in the fall when Notre Dame played football. (Maybe.)

Jesus would live humbly and He would be frugal. He would have one home and drive one vehicle, a big pick-up with a very scratched-up bed. His surplus income would be distributed between His church and charitable organizations... and He would stick a little in His retirement savings. He would rarely travel more than fifty miles from His home.

He would be single. When a pretty girl walked by, he would turn his head and think of Notre Dame football.

When He needed to relax He would go to a lake and fish, and He would be very, very good at it.

I think I know which church He would attend, but regardless... He would concentrate on those things that unite us rather than the topics which divide. He would love Church parties. He would cherish and cater to the old folk in His Church... as an example to the young.
There would always be plenty of food at His Church's picnics.

He would look a lot like Jim Caviezel and He would be the best neighbor EVER.

He would be ultra-liberal with His love, and ultra-conservative in His adherence to the truth.

You might see Him one day getting out of His truck at Home Depot. He would notice you staring at Him and He would stroll over with a big smile. He would put His hands on your shoulders and whisper, "Now I want you to stop worrying... You're mine, and I'm not letting go."

posted by Malott @ 2:40 AM